FIRST of 18 years

Well - I've been living for 18 years and 9 months and around 95% of my peers and friends around me have at least gotten around to blogging and writing on their so-called internet "journals" or "diaries" - and I haven't really got started. I've constantly distanced myself from the open and public platform of the "blogosphere" for worries that some of my personal writings might not be worthy of any sort of public viewing or "consumption"; I've for a long time kept diary entries to myself, as an intimate and personal form of disclosure, relieve, and perhaps carthasis, to reflect and gain an alternative perspective to myself and the world around me.

But times may have changed and everybody seems to be sucked into this hype of relishing in the full-fledged, say-all-you-want-as-you-please public domain, where everyone is but an author of and for themselves. Ever since I signed up for those Friendster, Facebook and Deviantart accounts, I myself have, too, become part of the online communities/tribes of individual web users, through both fascination and addiction, to the appeal, the fun and the interactivity of the web interface. In other words, I'm totally hooked to this emerging culture of publicizing yourself, your image and a tad of your personal life on the Internet. I have no idea whether this is a form of addiction, a disease/epidemic or a form of narcissistic fetish. I have no idea why all my friends and peers would let their inner-selves out on the Internet. Is it for hope that their entries, like this one I've written, would be shared with the rest of the "world", or at least with a fraction of their social circles? Or is it, in a manner of speaking, to literally "let it all out"? To vent their frustrations, their thoughts, their views of life and personal philosophies about existence?

I still have no idea what or why the heck is it that I've typed out all my line of thoughts on my embracement of the blogging practice. Perhaps it's its ease of type-writing and editing, or perhaps it's how Facebook, an integrate tool to connect and stay in touch with the people around me, have led me to actualize blogging and revealing just a bit "more" of myself to my friends and peers. It's really an ambivalent feeling for me, a dubious mix of wonderment (at the technology) and doubt, and an inclination towards withholding some of my verbal thoughts and rants. I'm an impressionable guy but more "reserved" in revealing certain parts of my being. Still, I would never fully comprehend how I should go about posting entries or let out my thoughts.

Perhaps the sole purpose of blogging for me shouldn't serve as a form of self-revelation or realization, like private, physical diaries have been doing for me. Perhaps it should be an avenue where I could share with the rest about my joys of life, my hobbies, interesting or maybe random events or news that people should catch up with. And if you happen to know me or read this post of mine, I'll be posting and sharing drawings, sketches, paintings, etc, not just out of sheer boredom, but also to just showcase how art is another great medium of expression for me.